It was 10 years ago. We were two voices on the phone together. We have never met in person. I have never seen his picture. None of that matters, not then and not now. What mattered was what we said to one another.
His name is Joseph. Heart surgeons refer to someone like him as a "redo".
His daughter had put us in touch. He was already a survivor of an aortic crisis, having come through aortic dissection and ascending aortic aneurysm surgery. Now his bicuspid aortic valve had become calcified and narrow. He was facing another major open-heart surgery, not so very long since the last one.
Yes, surgeons call someone like Joseph a "redo". I had heard some things about "redo's", such as the challenges of scar tissue that can make even opening up the chest safely a challenge.
An example of BAV Stenosis This was not Joseph's valve! |
By this time, I had already been through enough in my own family to know about facing hard things, including more than one open-heart surgery, because of BAV and the aorta. I also knew how much strength and ability to heal those with BAV often have. They are generally not "frail" people, and as Joseph told me about himself and how active he was, I recognized that strength in him.
He had already come face to face with death when his aorta tore. He had come through major surgery to replace part of his aorta. Now it was his stiff, calcified BAV forcing intervention. Before open heart surgery and artificial aortic valves, the end state of aortic valve stenosis was heart failure ending in death. There was no question the stenosis could not be allowed to weaken his heart and end his life, when a surgeon could help him. He already knew these things from his doctors. I must leave to them all the challenges of a "redo" surgery.
Joseph didn't need information from me.
He didn't need any explanations either.
He needed hope.
"Am I going to make it?"
I am so glad that Joseph felt comfortable asking me this, the life-and death question that weighed heavily as he chose to have surgery again:
"Am I going to make it?"
Across the years, I hear once again the sound of his voice as I write this.
"Yes, you are! And we will talk again!"
And talk again, we did!
What a moment, hearing his voice again!
Yes!!!
There is nothing like it!
Courage
Red Jasper The Warrior Stone of Strength and Courage |
Fear is normal; we all have fears to face when entering a hospital and having such major surgery. Courage enables us to go forward, despite our fears, and receive the help being offered. Joseph was a very courageous man. It was my privilege to support his courage, knowing that others had come through multiple surgeries like this.
I have sometimes used the analogy of surgery being a doorway or a gate; something we go through and there is our life once again, the diseased valve or aorta that plagued us left far behind.
A decade has passed. Joseph was not a young man back then. Age in itself is not a limitation to receiving help! How beautiful to think of him continuing forward and having the precious time since then.
Thinking about Joseph today inspires and moves me to share this experience with others. There are others facing yet another surgery because they were born with a bicuspid aortic valve; others needing hope and support of their courage today.
Perhaps I should mention that my late husband had a total of four open heart surgeries over 27 years. Four precious times when I could keep my promise to welcome him on the other side of the surgery door, as he awoke from anesthesia.
There is so much that is possible today, while we look forward to an even better future. TAVR technology has continued to improve, emerging as an option to be individually considered in cases of both native and prosthetic aortic valve stenosis. While we must continue to speak up about our needs and the things that must be improved, this hopeful "climate" surrounding us is central to the Bicuspid Aortic Foundation's mission.
Joseph and I are sharing
this especially with you,
As you bravely choose and prepare for
another surgery,
"Creating a Climate of Hope".
~ Arlys Velebir
Bicuspid Aortic Foundation